Is Bigger Better?

This post is written for my cis male readers, in part so that I never have to answer this question again. I think this is the #1 most common question I get as a sex blogger. Almost always asked by men, they usually want to ask if they should get their partner a giant dildo, and how giant dildos compare to a regular old average sized penis.

My answer is usually that I enjoy both of those things equally (and no sex toy will ever really be exactly like flesh and blood dicks, not even VixSkin). Sex toys are never a replacement for having a person in bed with you. So if your significant other likes big dildos, don’t despair. I’m positive they can still enjoy your dick.

Now, onto the two dildos. The large one on the left is The Captain by Pleasure Works, and the smaller one on the right is The VixSkin Mustang by Vixen Creations. Guess which one I use more often? Hint: it’s not the giant one. I have a few large dildos, but the bulk of my insertable toys are average sized or small, because I just tend to use those sizes the most. They don’t require warm up, and they’re more comfortable.

I reach for the Captain on occasion, once in a blue moon, when I’m in the mood for it and intend to take the time to warm up. I reach for the Mustang much more often, and I think more people would enjoy it, that’s why it made my list of top 5 favorite sex toys of all time. As for anal penetration, I like small dildos.

If you’re choosing your first ever dildo, consider first how you will use it. If it’s for anal on you, and you do not have any prior experience, for the love of all things good and holy try a small dildo first. It must be from watching all that FemDom porn, but men tend to choose dildos dramatically bigger than their tiny assholes can comfortably accommodate.

For anal beginners, try something like the Colours Wave Dildo, which is very squishy and smaller than the average penis with a circumference of just 3″. Another good (but more expensive) choice is the VixSkin Mustang Royale, which is about the size of an average penis at 4.5″ in circumference and comes with an extra secure base for use in a harness.

If you’re shopping for your wife or girlfriend, ask her what she actually likes. Believe it or not, size queens are a minority. The majority of folks I know with vaginas like average sized dildos when given a choice. Don’t surprise your significant other with a dildo the size of a forearm unless you know she’d be into that. Better yet, shop for toys together.

I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand men’s fascination with their dicks and assumption that bigger is always better. It is not true, and in some cases, bigger is actually worse. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

About the author

Nonbinary femme-ish person. Pansexual. Poly. Disability activist. Photographer. Knitter. Makeup Artist. Bird & cat person. Jew in training. Dominant Bottom. Fat. Trekkie. They/them.

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